emo no more

it's over, the relationship i worked so hard on becoming a part of. surprisingly, it didn't hurt as much as i thought it would. in fact, it barely does.

funny. i can't think of a reason why i would work on it so hard and only be too acquiescent to let go. oh i was in love... i think. and would have gladly stuck with the program had he not suggested it. but he did. just after a day of being together. and i was just the one to say, "okay, let's!" i haven't even had the chance to change my facebook profile to "in a relationship."

maybe i've seen it coming. i knew it was all wrong from the beginning. it felt right... but it also felt wrong. for one it wasn't as romantic as i thought it would be, the way we got together. me, being the hopeless romantic and a fan of chick flicks, thought of flowers and shit and some lengthly conversation in a place only we know about. but it didn't. it started with a "try natin..." over a cup of cheap, tasteless tea. in my head i thought, "this is not happening like this." but i wanted it however it's going to happen.

and it did. did being the operative word.

i care. but maybe i should care in another way. it shouldn't matter how. what matters is that i do. even if it's from afar. and i will. after all, feelings don't die with the days, it just takes another form.