I want to tell you about this friend I have. Her name's Lisa. Lisa Loeb. Wahaha. You probably know her. She has these teeny-bopper songs I never get tired of listening to. Anyway, I was watching Grey's Anatomy then I heard her song. I didn't know it was her, actually, until I saw it on the subtitle. ^_^. Then I fell in love with the song. It's called "Fools Like Me" and I though, how appropriate since it was, after all, the first of April which is... all together now... April Fool's Day! Woot-woot!
It wasn't anything special, my day. I guess the best thing that happened that day was that I took a bath. And brushed my teeth. Well, I did have my computer fixed and had a drink with this guy who is my brothers good friend but I didn't even know existed but that happens every day. Of course I'm kidding, sweetheart, I'm no drunk. Now be a dear and pass me another Vodka.
I'm glad Matt came over. That's the guys name. He fixed my computer and we shared a few drinks. But that's not what I'm happy about. I was happy because I wasn't the biggest fool that day. I'm not saying it was him but yeah... yeah, it was pretty much him. The guy got so drunk he was talking about love and his ex and how something is that thing and all sorts of things that I'd rather not tell you since life's too short so I'll spare you the details. He was okay but he was talking guys stuff and that's not really my thing. He harangued of how tight he and my brother are. And my brother I? We're about as tight as water and anything else. Okay that was a lousy simile. I can't think of anything else. And that's a little too exaggerated but the point is, we're not. We talk and stuff but our lives can't be more opposite. He's a police officer (Oh congratulations, brother. He just graduated from PNPA and was top 15 and topped his shooting class. You are awesome, big brother!) and I? I do bad things
Anyway going back to Matt, I've really nothing else to say. He was cool, I guess. He just needs to be sober. Haha. It's like he's always on something. Hahaha. And I have to thank him for making me realize how much I'm missing out on my family. I've created a world outside of theirs and it was starting to get lonely. I guess it's true when Cye say that at the end of the day, our family is all that we have.
So I guess I'm the bigger fool now.
Damn it, I was trying to avoid painful drama.
But since I'm here, let me not spare you of some more ramblings. I want to go back to my friend Lisa. You should listen to the song. It's catchy, a bit upbeat and it does make sense if you can find yourself in it. Like I did. I'll have uploaded on my iPot (my imeem mediabox on my profile) so you guys can listen to it.
It happens once, it happens many times over. You fall in love and you're not loved back. Now how many times have you heard that story? Bet your fingers are not enough. Some lucky ones get away with it. Even luckier ones haven't gone through it at all but I'm sure they have some stories to tell. Others, like me, get stuck. Until we dig ourselves out of that hole, or as how we usually put it, we get over it. It's an ordeal. Like trying to break through a wall with a toothpick. A low-quality one. Thank god for friends. They usually have the ax or even better, a C4 to break that wall for you.
Now I remember this lady. Once, she was cried uncontrollably. You see, she got herself into that hole. While she was there, hugging me with one hand, holding a bottle of beer on the other, she asked the one thing that became the bedrock, should we say, of how I love a person. She asked, "Hindi naman mali na mahalin sya, diba?" Yeah, it was the alcohol talking. But more importantly, her heart was talking, too. I know this question's such a clichÉ but how can love be so wrong when it feels so right? I mean love... love is a good thing, right? Sheryl Crow even sang a song about that. Everyone knows that's true or at least I'm still to be proven otherwise. And even though I got stuck on that hole myself and got myself out, I still believe it's true. I know how it can make us suicidal at times. It hurts us more than anything. But that's life! And life is so much better with pain. Because it feels so damn good when it doesn't hurt anymore. It's the spice of an otherwise worthless existence. We're human beings. We're entitled to these things. And you know you can't tell me I'm wrong.
Now I'm not saying that we all get ourselves on that hole just to spice our lives up. I'm just saying learn to live with it. I'm saying don't get scared to fall in love. It's the natural order of things. We really can't help ourselves in this matter. We don't choose when to fall in love and who to fall in love with. That's why sometimes you hear people say "right love, wrong time" or you were just probably listening to that Barry Manillow song.
We always give our best when we love because it won't be love otherwise. I know I won't do it any other way. After all that's said and done, life goes on. I feel for those who become suicidal, like my younger brother's ex-girlfriend. She told my mother she'll cut her wrist if they break up. They did. Unfortunately for us, she didn't pull through with her promise. I am such a bastard
Is it just me or did I just sound like Joe d'Mango up there? Tom Alvarez, maybe? Hahaha.
Wow... leave it to me to ramble about Matt then about Dr. Love stuff all in one entry. And I'm not even drunk! Must be the caffeine. After all, this is "The Coffee Addict's Guide To Coffee Addiction."
Maybe it's the sanest thing
Or just the sweetest kind of dream
But love was surely made for fools like me...
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