my-heart-is-touched kinda thing

Let me get really crappy and stuff here for once.

I cried! I can't believe I really cried! I mean with real tears. And real my-heart-is-touched kinda thing. It was truly awesome! I haven't cried in years. I'm not exaggerating. Sure I get lonely at times but... you know... big girls don't cry. Hahaha.

I was watching this movie Armageddon. No, I didn't feel sad and I definitely didn't think the world's going to end. At least not in this lifetime. But what got me crying is I guess the humanity of it all, you know what I mean? I don't even think I chose the right word but what I'm trying to say is it's the feeling of being human. For one being so vulnerable and powerless. Like we're this tiny speck of dust in, say, the desert. Like all of sudden everything that we ever live for seem so pointless. Now I'm not trying to go into that whole religion thing. That's way off of what I'm trying to get at.

So you ask what my point is? My point is... what I'm tying to say is... that we're pointless. Kidding. I guess my point is that I just haven't found my purpose yet. Maybe that's because I didn't read the book called The Purpose-Driven Life. Hahaha. My mom's practically begging me when she first got it. Oprah's going to be sooo mad at me. But that was the question, wasn't it? What on earth am I here for? I guess you can say I'm not very religious. Honestly, I can't say I am. So that wouldn't satisfy my question. I know it did to some people and I'm happy for them. I don't know why I just can't find myself in on that thing.

Who knows when I'll ever figure it out. Tomorrow, maybe, or next month or year, or never. It's sad, I know, but I pretty much don't care right now. Or I guess I do since I cried, I dunno. I guess I'm just the "live for the moment" kind of man. Yeah, I did say that things we live for may not so be important when that time comes but that's what's important to me NOW! So I'm human, sue me! A lot of people may not find me agreeable but hey I'm just being honest. But time has this funny way of changing people. I mean I may be the stuff of legends in the future. Who knows? Maybe there'll be a global killer where in that time the only thing that could save mankind is a fabulous interior design which only I could do. I guess I'll be a slave of time for now.

But enough about me, how about you? What's your purpose?